


[ Teach Me To Cry ]

by slushanddusk



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, Dream Smp, Drowning, Enderman Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Execution, Gen, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Ghostbur, I can’t write angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, Minecraft, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Possible Character Death, Ranboo - Freeform, Random & Short, Sad, Sad Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Short, Short Story, Tags May Change, TechnoBlade, Technoblade is Bad at Feelings (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo Has a Bad Time, Traitor Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Tubbo - Freeform, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28645089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slushanddusk/pseuds/slushanddusk
Summary: [ the world spins round ]Cheerful days are over.L’manburg has been destroyed, and the world is in chaos.  Homes were lost and people were damaged.  Despite the fact that deaths were prevented, most people feel like they have died.  Sides changed, people gave up on their dreams.  Hope was lost and new ideas and plans were formed.  People changed and shifted their morals.And some people chose the wrong sides.—[ an improvisation angst novel ]based on the events of the dream smp
Relationships: Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 21
Kudos: 129





	1. [ The Night Of ]

**Author's Note:**

> Guys.
> 
> To be totally honest this is more improv, I don’t know what is happening.  
> This may end up being a one shot but if I can make it detailed/interesting enough that people want more I will continue!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys.
> 
> To be totally honest this is more improv, I don’t know what is happening.  
> This may end up being a one shot but if I can make it detailed/interesting enough that people want more I will continue!

The ground was littered with rubble, and dust drifted into the air. The crater where a nation had once stood had been smoking for hours on end. Water poured into the area from nearby lakes that had been half-exploded in the battle, and dark, three-headed withers still roamed around searching for someone to kill with bloodlust matched by only a few.

A blond boy sat at the edge of a tall row of stairs. 

They stretched up, and from the top the seventeen year old could see the country that he had failed. He had been the leader of this nation, and he had let this happen under his own command. Perhaps he had thought that giving the last disc to Dream would be a good idea, but he was wrong. Nothing he ever thought to do was a _good idea_. 

He was a shit president.

So the boy stared out at what he had failed, his hands cold. Wind pushed his hair in front of his soft blue eyes but he didn’t move, trying to keep his vision from blurring. Tears slid down from his face. Small, pale orbs that shined in the faint light of the shadowy setting sun. He knew he failed, but he couldn’t accept the fact that his home was gone. The place he had lived for the past few months was gone— destroyed by only three people. Quite arguably the three strongest people in the lands.

He wasn’t sure what to do now, except mourn. Mourn for the memories that were now figments of the long gone past, and for the future that he would never get to experience. His throat hurt from crying, and he didn’t move. The boy didn’t feel like moving. Lava simmered in the darkness, casting an eerie glow on the huge crater that was now L’manburg. But the former president sat alone in the darkness with only the wind to keep him company.

His eyes were still teary as he stared out while the sun dissapeared and the sky begun to fade into a dark blue. The drops slid down his face silently until the young blond boy felt a soft hand resting on his shoulder.

He barely reacted. He sat there, moving his head the slightest bit as he turned to see who was behind him. The boy was broken. His spirits were damaged and his heart was aching from the events of the day. His blue eyes were met with the green and red orbs of someone he knew quite well.

“Ranboo,” the president said, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. His throat was dry and it was evident in both his voice and tone that he was not ok. It seemed that no one was ok after what had happened. His eyes simply returned back to the crater and studied the charred area where the L’mantree has stood before Niki burned it in the chaos.

The newcomer hesitated for a split second before sitting beside Tubbo softly. Their height difference was incredibly evident even while sitting. Ranboo looked slightly down at the other boy, his concern sketched into his speckled black and white face. 

“Hey Tubbo,” Ranboo said softly, his voice quiet like Tubbo’s. Both of them stared down at the ruins of their home. “Are you- I mean are you ok?”

Tubbo’s gaze dropped to his hands in his lap and he slouched forwards, staring down. His legs dangled off the edge of the stairs and he stared past them at the river running below the two of them. “I’m as ok as someone who just had their country blown up could be, Ranboo,” he said with a scratchy, half-hearted laugh that made him tear up even more.

The half-enderman stared at his friend, shakily resting a black gloved hand on the former president’s shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault. You-you tried your hardest and it isn’t your fault that it wasn’t enough. Techno and Dream had a plan that we weren’t prepared for. We didn’t know what would happen. You couldn’t have stopped it.” 

Tubbo shifted, lifting his hands and burying his face in them as he cried. The clouds above them covered the stars as the night began and the air around them cooled. The world darkened as black shadows took over, and for once neither Tubbo nor Ranboo had a home to sleep the night at. “I could have stopped them. We could have tried harder. It’s my fault- this country was doomed the second I became president,” Tubbo managed to choke out between his sudden sobs. 

“I just wish I could have tried harder.”

Ranboo didn’t know what to say. He wanted to be giving words of encouragement, but he wasn’t sure if there were any. He didn’t want to lie to his only friends, and his throat began to close up. He felt tears pricking at the corners of his heterochromatic eyes, but he didn’t want to cry in front of the one he thought of as a best friend. 

He had to be strong, he had to be the one to bring the blond boy back to his senses, but how could he do that when he too felt like all of their work had been for absolutely nothing? That they were doomed to fail from the very start and that no matter what they had done L’manburg would always have ended up the same. 

The huge crater that the two friends were sitting in front of as they tried to hold back their tears.

“What do we do?” Ranboo asked, his voice cracking slightly. He stared down at Tubbo, and the blond boy just continued to cry into his hands, salty tears sliding down his arms and dripping off into the water far, far below them. He tried to contain the sobs that wracked his body, but Ranboo could feel each one pain the president of the destroyed nation.

Tubbo turned to Ranboo, his face wet from tears. He reached for his friend, grabbing his black suit and pulling him closer. The smaller boy buried his face in his friend, crying as Ranboo stared into the distance above Tubbo’s head, shocked. His gloved hands trembled slightly as he hugged the boy.

Without Tubbo’s response, Ranboo felt lost, but he stuffed down his panic as much as he could and managed to choke out words. 

“It’ll get better.”

Ranboo closed his eyes, relaxing as he and his friend sat in the night with the dust from their former home drifting into the air. He took a breath of the smoky air, trying to clear his lungs but he only settled back down and let Tubbo calm down.

“Ranboo,” Tubbo was finally able to say, after his tears began to dry up and he could no longer muster the strength to cry any more. He shakily leaned back, looking up to his friend’s red and green eyes. The taller boy moved back slightly, uncomfortable with the eye contact he was receiving, but the blue eyed boy didn’t hesitate. He didn’t move back.

“Ranboo we’re fucked.”

Just the simple line made Ranboo flinch. His hands dropped and he stopped moving as he stared dead into Tubbo’s eyes. He didn’t want to move, to do anything. His throat felt like it was closing in on itself, and his breaths were deep, sharp, and shaky. 

“Listen to me- listen to me,” he said, his hands trembling as they clung to Ranboo’s shirt collar. It was clear that Tubbo was desperate, his whole body was shaky. The small boy's blue eyes were glassy and wide, seeming almost out of focus in a horrifying and unsettling way. 

"Ranboo, listen to me. L'manburg is gone, our entire home- our safe place. _It's gone. It's a crater._ See- you see- maybe- _maybe,_ we could fix it- but then what? Technoblade comes back and spawns even more withers? Dream blows it up even more? Even _Phil_ came and fought against us. Ranboo, we've lost. No matter what we do, we can never have a nation like what we had in the past," He ranted, his words jumbled and chaotic. It was clear that Tubbo was not acting like himself- yet Ranboo couldn't think of anything to do.

Tubbo let out a soft breath as he let go of Ranboo and turned his gaze back down towards his feet that dangled off the stairs. "And now, our nation will never have a future."

Ranboo swallowed hard, staring at the figure of his friend, staring down in this strange whirl of emotions that Ranboo couldn't really understand even if he had similar ones. 

"It's not over. Don't give up that easily."

Tubbo didn't move, and Ranboo shifted, biting his lip slightly before continuing. "Like Tommy said earlier- we still have hope. It was never just about L'manburg, it was about the people. Like you and Tommy. We can build somewhere else and start a new life- a new town without a government. Something that Techno won't want to destroy and Dream shouldn't care about," the half-enderman explained with hints of sadness yet even a faint trace of something that may have been hope.

Tubbo didn't move, and Ranboo sat staring down at his blond friend in the hopes that he had come to his senses and realized what the taller black and white teenager was saying.

After a minute, Tubbo stood. It may have been longer, Ranboo lost count of time as the wind drifted through his hair and the sight of the slightly glowing crater that had once been his home entranced him. The seventeen year old turned his back to Ranboo, and then glanced down at him. He was still sitting, staring up at his friend and the former president who seemed to be leaving him.

"I can't do this," the blue eyed boy said with a hint of a strained kind of happiness that only showed up in Tubbo's voice when he was actually distressed. 

Ranboo knew that tone.

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry. I just- I can't make another home now after something I worked to create for _months_ was destroyed in under an hour. It's all gone- and I really- I could have stopped it. I could have never given Dream the disc, and the only reason I did is because I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking idiot," He said, his voice choking slightly at the end as he smiled with tears running down his face.

Ranboo stared after Tubbo as the blonde seventeen year old turned around towards where the sun had set and headed down the pathway and into the darkness of the night without so much as a glance back at his friend. He was leaving the past behind for now, even if it meant hurting the people that he really did care about. He had to keep walking. _Past Tommy's house, away from the bench. Don't look back, keep going._ He was leaving all of that behind.

Even if it hurt him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welll that was it.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it- tell me if I should find a way to continue trying to make random people on the internet depressed from angsty fan fictions that I’m not good at writing lmao.


	2. [ Snowy Skies ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote most of this from 1am-2am so there will likely be many spelling errors and things like that, but here's chapter 2 since it seemed you guys enjoyed the first one :)
> 
> By enjoyed I mean were very upset by.

Ranboo was silent as he sat, one of his best friends walking away from him. He didn't move until he was sure that Tubbo was gone, far away and out of sight. His shoulders slumped slightly and he stared down at his hands, unsure exactly what to do. The wind picked up around the former cabinet member. 

His gaze turned instinctively towards the place that his house used to be. He remembered Philza's house next to his, and the Christmas decorations that had still been up on his roof. His gaze scanned the ruins as he wondered if anything had really survived in the barrels he could see, but then decided against going towards the huge crater. 

Ranboo thought as he opened his book and stared at the pages that he had scribbled in the chaos of the earlier battle.

_Cowards._

Fundy and all the rest of them. They were all cowards. They thought not fighting would mean that they won, but it didn't. They had lost just as much as everyone else. They picked the side that they thought would never loose, but in reality, it would never win.

He slid a quill out of his pocket and turned to the first few pages of the book. His friends were there. Did he have to remove Tubbo's name? Did he _want_ to remove Tubbo's name? The answer was no, because Tubbo was one of Ranboo's friends no matter what he did or what he said. They would always be friends, Ranboo was sure of it.

The half-enderman stood up and brushed off his pants with a sharp cough, the smoky air entering his lungs not feeling quite good. He turned in the direction Tubbo had gone and walked away from the crater. His moved quietly but he could hear every noise he made in the silence around him. His hair fluttered in front of his eyes and he brushed it aside, turning the corner to walk down the hill, unsure where to go after he passed Tommy's old house. 

He had no home to return to, so he wandered around the untouched area where Punz lived, slipping slightly on the ice as he headed into the nicely decorated area. He hoped that the person who's land he was trespassing on was not home, or it would be quite awkward. After just a short time, he began to feel a bit discouraged by the Christmas vibe that the property was giving him, and he headed out.

Ranboo closed the spruce gate behind him gently and stepped down the lantern-lined pathway back towards the main walkway and he headed up the second hill. The wind was continuously picking up and settling down, yet it didn't bother the black and white skinned humanoid that much. He instead pushed that fact to the back of his mind with other things he had long forgotten and turned his gaze towards the path ahead.

There was a man standing there.

He wasn't too far away, and his dark cloak fluttered in the wind. Ranboo wasn't sure who it was, but took a slight step backwards and contemplated fleeing down the hill away from this strange figure in the night.

"Heya mate," the stranger said, and they walked forwards.

Ranboo paused and stared, his brain slowly registering who the person in front of him was. "Philza?" he asked, his voice cracking the slightest bit and he coughed again. The shadowed figure walked closer and he pulled out a lantern, lighting up his blonde hair and unmistakable green and white bucket hat. The golden chain that clasped his cloak onto his shoulders shimmered faintly in the soft lantern light.

"Yea, it's me," He said kindly, tilting his head just the slightest. He was noticeably shorter than Ranboo but he had his clear fatherly expression to him that made it clear he was almost twice the age of the half-enderman he was standing in front of.

Ranboo wasn't quite sure what to do, but quickly remembered the events of the day. He had been close to hugging the one of the people that had blown his home nation to smithereens. He hadn't even remembered and he cursed himself as he took a slight step back, almost at the edge of the stairs and he looked somewhat nervously down at Philza. "You blew up L'manburg- what are you doing here? They'll kill you."

Phil smiled softly and pulled an enchanted golden apple out of a pouch he had under his cloak before sliding it back in. "If they _can,_ and I don't think they can."

Ranboo was silent and he didn't say a word, stand there with confusion and worry evidently sketched into his face. He bit his lip slightly and his gaze dropped even more to his feet.

"What's wrong?" Philza asked, crouching slightly to look up into Ranboo's eyes. Phil's pale and almost white blue eyes were clearly concerned but he didn't say anything else, waiting for Ranboo to speak.

"It's . . . It's Tubbo," The half-enderman said softly, moving his gaze away from the cloaked man's eyes somewhat uncomfortably. He didn't like eye contact, although he was better at handling it than he had previously. Philza stood up and looked at Ranboo in a way that made him want to spill his whole life story to the man in front of him. "He's upset and I can't do anything about it, because I can't pick a side."

Philza spread his arms slightly and Ranboo stepped forwards. Despite the fact that he was about seven inches taller, the black and white haired teenager felt comforted when he hugged Phil. The shorter man wrapped his arms gently around Ranboo himself, wanting to make sure that this boy would be alright. 

The embraced and stood in the middle of the open with not a care in the world. Everything would be okay, and even though the world around them was dark they were illuminated by the lantern Phil was still holding, glowing and happy. They were safe.

"Ranboo, come with me," Phil said softly after a few long moments. He unclasped his arms and raised the lantern slightly to see that Ranboo had the start of tears forming in the corners of his shut eyes. He gently moved his free hand to the boy's shoulder. "I have a place you can stay for now, if you're up for it."

Phil could feel Ranboo swallow and then the taller of the two took a deep breath and leaned back, looking at Phil with a small nod. He didn't try to fake a smile, and Phil was fine with that. He was really like a father, doing whatever he had to to keep the younger ones happy and joking around with them whenever he got to. But when times like this arose his comforting side would emerge.

In the night, it began to rain. As small water droplets splashed against Phil's bucket hat, he wondered if it was snowing back home. He extended a hand and gently took Ranboo's black gloved one in his own, leading the taller one towards the portal. As Ranboo started to notice the rain he almost instantly slid his hand out of Philza's and put on his armor.

Phil was confused for a moment before he remembered Ranboo was a half-enderman type creature. He should have been smart enough to realize rain would bother him. Neither spoke as Ranboo approached Philza once more and took his hand again.

They continued on their way, the lantern that the cloaked man was holding gently illuminating the area. Water droplets slid down the glass the flame was inside and dripped off of the bottom rim, splashing softly into tiny puddles and sinking into the ground below. 

Tears did the same.

Silently they slid down Ranboo's face, half hidden by his helmet, hair, and the shadows of the night. The salty droplets dripped off his chin and down towards the wooden planks and earthy ground the two walked over. Phil knew Ranboo was crying but he still didn't speak. Sometimes the best thing to do was just to let emotions fizzle out. 

They crossed a bridge in silence, their footsteps slowly being drowned out by the rain as it poured down from the sky heavier than ever. Philza gripped his lantern as he softly pushed open a door to the community house and the two entered, letting the door swing close behind them. Phil gently set down the lantern and let go of Ranboo's hand. 

The half-enderman instantly rubbed his face with his hands, trying to remove all traces of his tears. He didn't want to be seen as weak. That was exactly what he didn't want, and if Phil knew he was crying that would be what happened. While Ranboo tried to hide his emotions, Philza wrung out his green and white bucket hat and took off his cloak for just a few seconds, his feathered wings flicking and a bit of water spraying off of them. After he did that, he slid the cloak back on and clasped it over the red heart pattern on his top. 

He turned to Ranboo and watched the black and white skinned boy's hands drop from his head, and they met eyes for just a second before Phil turned back around and slid his hat into a pocket inside his cloak. "It's just through the Nether," The thirty two year old said in a soft voice that was almost drowned out by the loud crashing rain outside.

Ranboo nodded softly. "Ok," He said, not offering any more words after that. Phil knew it was uncharacteristic for the younger boy, but the only home he remembered had just been destroyed. Of course he would feel quite upset.

Phil's look on how Ranboo felt was a bit general, because as Phil opened the door to exit the house and head towards the main Nether Portal, Ranboo's mind was spinning. He wasn't quite upset, because it was more of an empty feeling. He longed for someone that wouldn't turn and walk away from him. 

Like Tubbo had.

He didn't make a noise as the two quickly crossed the second bridge and walked up the blackstone stairs before entering the purple portal. When they stepped through into the other dimension, Ranboo tried to shove the thoughts out of his head and try and focus. Focus on Philza and on where they were headed. Perhaps he was in such a shock due to the days events that he didn't realize what was going on until they were already through another portal and back in the overworld.

He continued to hold Philza's hand, tightening his grip and matching pace with the green cloaked man. It was snowing softly, not as hard as the rain had been back by the community house. Ranboo could assume they were quite far, and when he saw a soft light shining in the distance and they crested the hill and saw Technoblade's house. 

The quaint cottage sat peacefully with snowflakes drifting around it, and it made Ranboo want to cry again.

His house was gone, yet this stood here reminding him of a similar feeling he had when he had been at his own house and when he first saw L'manburg. When he saw how beautiful everything was. He should have known it wouldn't last long, but he had hoped and prayed that they would all be safe. It was a happy feeling that now slapped him in the face with a wave of nostalgia.

Phil gently led Ranboo down the hill, leaving two pairs of footsteps in the snow behind them as they headed towards the cottage and walked past an empty horse pen. Philza opened a door and then let Ranboo inside before he took off his hat and then closed the door behind them as to not let any of the mobs inside. The first floor-basement area was full of chests that Ranboo was sure contained rows and rows of loot and items he didn't want to think about.

"Come up, please," Philza said kindly, climbing a ladder to the second floor and Ranboo hesitated. He took off his armor and stored it before he headed up quickly behind his friend. 

His friend.

Would Philza be the new Tubbo? The one who was kind to Ranboo and joked around with him? The one who would eventually fail his job and end up leaving Ranboo alone again with absolutely no one? He decided not. Phil was different, he was special. He was more like a father.

Philza had his back turned when Ranboo got onto the second floor, but he soon turned around with two mugs in his hands. Steam swirled softly out of the cups and Philza smiled. He looked genuinely happy, his blonde hair a bit messy from the windy rainstorm. It was flecked with bits of white snow as well, that made him look like he was a child who had just come back in from playing in the snow. His pale blue eyes were shining and reflected the lantern light of the peaceful cottage they were in. "Hot chocolate?"

Ranboo was stunned, but he managed to get his words across simply with a slightly confused nod. Phil gestured softly towards a two person table at the window and then set down the mugs on the spruce wood surface. He pulled out a chair and sat down, silently inviting Ranboo to sit in the other one. 

The wind was beginning to pick up outside the window, and the flurries danced around in the storm, like tiny white dancers trying to make a symphony. Ranboo and Phil both stared out the window silently at the snowy world around them. The window was slightly frosted over, and they both took slow sips of their steaming hot chocolate. Phil almost burned his tongue, but to Ranboo the drink was perfect. It warmed him up, as he was not dressed for the cold of the snowy biome that Philza resided in.

"So, tell me. What happened with Tubbo?" Philza asked Ranboo after a long sip of his drink. 

The half-enderman cupped his hands around his mug and stared into the dark liquid. "He- I- I don't know. He's given up and he's acting weird. He walked away from me, he just stood up and left me alone in the dark," Ranboo said with a slight hitch in his voice at the end of his sentence and Phil moved his left hand to rest it on Ranboo's shoulder while his other wrapped around his hot chocolate mug.

"Tubbo's just upset, that's all. He's sad L'manburg is gone too," Phil said kindly with a slight knowing tilt to his head. "He'll come to his senses soon, you just have to give him time. Don't rush him. These things are always hard to deal with, especially for different people. He'll realize what to do soon enough."

Ranboo didn't say anything for a moment, and Philza was a bit concerned for a moment as he saw the taller boy trembling slightly as if he was crying. His voice was shaky and uncertain as he spoke next, the tears that had just been shed a bit too evident.

"What if- what if he does the wrong thing?"

Phil smiled softly. It was a sad smile, and his head turned back to the window as he stared at the raging snowstorm outside the house. "I know he won't. Tubbo's not the type of person who would make a mistake like that. Trust me, I know. He loved L'manburg and he loves his friends the most out of anyone I know."

Phil stood up and walked behind Ranboo, gently hugging him and unclasping his cloak to let his wings gently wrap around the half-enderman sitting at the table and crying into his hot chocolate. He hugged him for the both of them. To calm himself and to reassure Ranboo. "Everything will be ok."

And for quite possibly the first time, Phil truly meant it when he said it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is less angst but don't worry there will be so much more ohhh yes. I have a lot of plans actually, this improv story stuff really works. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. [ The Truth ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god motivation hit me like a train today. I'm glad, because now I have the third chapter! This was a timed challenge to write 1,000 words in thirty minutes, and it worked! Since that is the case some lines may be repetitive or not make sense, and I apologize! I'll try and edit more later I just really wanted to post this since it's been too long.

Philza sat at the table by the window alone, staring out at the cloudy sky above him. His gaze wandered around the snowy lawn around the cottage and after a while, a figure appeared in the distance. 

The figure's pink hair fluttered in the breeze, and their long red cloak drifted behind them. When Phil spotted them, he instantly stood up and kicked his chair back, rushing for the spruce wood door and heading down the slippery ice covered stairs. He hopped off the final steps and onto the grass, bounding out to the other person with a huge grin on his face. His dark cloak trailed behind him, drifting over the snow softly. 

"Techno!" He said happily, waving to his friend as they approached each other. 

"Hey Phil," Techno replied, tilting his head slightly and sliding his sword into it's sheath. "Have you been . . ." he paused for a split second as he searched for the right words. "How have you been holding up?"

Philza tilted his head up at the sky as snow flurries started to drift around the two as they stood in the field covered in white. "I'm fine . . . I guess things have been getting back to normal a little since, you know, everything."

The pink haired man nodded thoughtfully and gently took Phil's hand. "C'mon, let's go inside." The two walked hand-in-hand towards the house as the snow began to pick up speed around them, white flakes getting stuck in their hair. They walked up the spruce wood stairs and opened the doors, closing them tightly behind them so the wind could not easily blow them open.

"What have you been doing? You've been gone a few days," Philza said sounding slightly concerned. He moved to the table at the window, where he sat down and proceeded to continue drinking the hot chocolate he had been sipping before his friend arrived. He rested his chin on his left hand as he gently took a drink from the mug. The older man would have offered to get another for Techno, but he was quite sure that the pink-haired man would refuse anyway.

"Oh, you know," he said vaguely, sliding into the seat across from Phil and taking off his golden crown. He set the gem-studded accessory down on the table and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling above. There was a strange look in his eyes, something Philza thought may have been sadness or longing but it could have been something very different. "Exploring."

"Alright, sounds fun. Next time make sure to bring me with you though," Phil said with a soft laugh. Techno smiled as well and lowered his gaze to meet Phil's pale blue eyes.

"I would, but I'm not quite sure your old legs would make it," Technoblade replied humorously, a mischievous glint coming into his red eyes as he looked at the green-clothed man in front of him.

"Oh that's it! Just because I'm like thirty two doesn't mean I'm going to die every time I go on a walk!" Philza exclaimed, although he was clearly amused by the joke as well. "You can fight me outside right now, I guarantee I'll beat you."

Techno's eyes narrowed and he grinned. "Are you sure about that? You might want to rethink that decision old man," he shot back as a reply. Phil gasped in mock disbelief and shock, and it made the two burst into laughter. They sat there laughing for a few moments before they simply smiled at one another.

"Really though Techno, how have you been?" Philza asked in a soft, kind voice when he had calmed himself. His eyes were full of compassion and he clearly just wanted to know what was going on, because he knew something was up. He had known Technoblade for many years now, and whenever he went off on his own without a word it normally wasn't for a very good reason.

Techno however, didn't seem to want to answer. He dropped his gaze and was silent instead, shifting around for a moment before he replied. "I'm fine, I already told you I was just exploring for a few days, what's the problem with that? Lighten up, come on."

Phil didn't speak for a moment, but he tilted his head slightly with a tiny smile. "I know something's bothering you, don't try to hide it from me. You can't. Remember as a kid when you would always disappear? You would come back hours later soaking wet and try to play it off like nothing happened. Tried to pretend you didn't use the river to wash off the blood. You can't hide anything from me, you tried before and it didn't work," he said, and then he dropped his gaze to his cup of hot chocolate. "Please, just tell me what's wrong."

Techno didn't reply, turning his head to stare out the window and his hair fell in front of his face. In the silence no one wanted to break, he took a breath and replied. 

"I don't want you to die."

The silence was only broken by a flash of lightning and a crack of thunder outside. The clouds darkened as the sun set and the sky turned colorless and dark. The fire inside the cabin crackled and lanternlight cast soft, warm shadows over the inside of the room. Despite the cold outside, it was quite warm and safe inside. 

The cabin was a place that Phil always felt at home. Despite not truly living there for a while and being the reason it was discovered by L'manburg and other people in the first place, he always was welcome back. He and Techno wouldn't stop being friends no matter what, and that had been true for the many years they had known each other. They were inseparable as children and the same was true as now-adults.

Philza never thought he would hear Techno say he was scared. Much less about something he could never control, like Phil's death. It wasn't a problem now and it sure wouldn't be for a long time. Philza knew he wouldn't die, and he always stayed as safe as possible. Hearing Technoblade say he was afraid of Phil dying was a strange thing. A strange thing indeed.

"Don't worry," Phil said softly, looking up at his friend. He smiled kindly and extended his hands to hold Techno's from across the table. "It's ok. I'll be fine, I have totems and you know I'm not stupid. I can stay safe if need be."

"You don't have to worry about me. I know it must be hard, but you really don't. I've been able to stay alive for a long time already," He said as reassuringly as he could. Techno turned to look at him, clearly still concerned.

"But Wilbur wasn't stupid either," Techno said, and Philza felt his next words die in his throat. His hands instantly felt like they had frozen, and his gaze dropped back down. "I just- I'm just scared. Isn't that natural?"

Phil squeezed his eyes shut. "Yes, I understand," he said, his words shaky and uncertain. He didn't understand. Techno had never been scared before, or maybe Phil had just been blind. During the execution when he was looking out his window and watching Techno being trapped for a public murder, was the pink-haired man afraid? Philza hadn't thought so, but he was wrong. That slight hesitation and uncertainty in Techno's voice the whole time, that was fear. Phil had just been too caught up in his own certainty that Techno would survive to notice it. He was blind, he had completely ignored his friend's emotions. What kind of person did that?

"Phil," Techno said, gripping the green-clothed man's hands tight. "Look at me."

With a slight hesitation, he looked up and met Techno's red eyes with his own pale, pale blue ones. They stared at each other for a few moments before Philza released Techno and he stood up. Technoblade did the same, rising to his feet without knowing exactly what was happening. In the blink of an eye, Phil was hugging his friend tightly.

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes and he didn't really care as they slipped down his face. He was safe here. He was happy, and so was Techno. That was all that mattered. The taller pink-haired man wasn't entirely sure what was happening, but he hesitantly slid his arms around Philza as well and the two stood in the warmth of the cabin with the fire protecting them from the cold winds and thunder outside. Lightning crackled high above them but they didn't care and they didn't mind.

They were happy. They were both happy living together in the middle of the snow and the storms, and they knew that they could face the world together. Because despite the fact that maybe things were a little out of hand, they could always rely on one to steer the other in the right direction. If Techno got a little bit lost, Phil would always be there to help him out. And if Philza was worried, Technoblade was always right by his side to tell him everything would be fine.

Because that was the truth, the plain and simple truth.

Everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tysm for reading <333
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this, I'm having fun little ideas for each chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> Welll that was it.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it- tell me if I should find a way to continue trying to make random people on the internet depressed from angsty fan fictions that I’m not good at writing lmao.


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